This was a weird Wednesday. I spent the day in the computer lab writing math tests for next year while a sub babysat my little kiddles. No lab classes are being held this week, so there were no kids about. It was very peaceful and I got a lot done. Then I emerged from my cave and found out two of my more challenging kids had been extra challening today. Foul mouths spewed and a bully used his brute strength against a hapless classmate. Sigh. They were invited to stay home for the rest of the year - mind you, that's only 3 more days. Still. It was an odd juxtaposition to my day of peace, and I felt drained by the news.
Now, in the past I would have driven straight to the grocery store to load up the cart with comforting carbs. Instead, I drove straight to the store and bought cabbage and low fat baked BBQ chips. Randy grilled Nathan's hotdogs and we topped them with mustard slaw instead of chili and cheese. Then we finished it off with a 30 minute walk.
I feel in control. My day of peace and productivity overcame a few moments of angst. As I reflect on this, I wonder how much of my new attitude is tied to the end of Rebecca's estrangement and exhile. Did the guilt and defeat of sending her back to Florida undermine my sense of control in my life? I feel like my prison sentence is coming to an end. My creativity is springing to the forefront. My attitude is rebounding. My sense of self worth is reawakening. The hardest challenges of our lives are the very things that strengthen us like steel forged in fire. I'm thankful for the strength I've gained, but I'm grateful the sun is coming back out and the storm of the past few years has past.
It's good to be back.
Didn't you used to do yoga/pilates videos? That is a great relaxer. I'm going to my first "power yoga" class on Saturday. I'll keep you posted.
ReplyDeleteI went through a short yoga phase for about 6 months once. I had a video tape (that tells you how long ago it was) and I tried to do it each afternoon. I can appreciate what they say about the benefits of yoga for fibromyalgia, but I think I'd have to try it with an instructor. I'd love to talk to Linda Lou to see if they'll start an adult ballet exercise class. That's something my muscle will remember!
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